Summer Activities

Well I went back to work and it was really hard, especially since I deal mostly with leisure world population and I was still dealing with all my moms affairs.  After much prayer and talking with my boss I was fortunate enough to go part time.  I now work one or two days a week which has really helped me deal with my mom's affairs and being able to spend some quality time with my family since our family had to readjust our lives when my mom was here. It was really hard and now that it is summer we wanted to spend some fun time together.  Some fun thngs we have done this summer are:

We went to Palm Springs on the last day of school.  That was a lot of fun.

Nicole, Chelsea and lauren

Chelsea and Nicole under the waterfall

I was fortunate enough to go to girls camp with Chelsea.  It was here first year up.  We stayed at Camp moringstar in the San Bernadino mountains.  It was so cold, the coldest I have ever camped in.  It was a lot of fun.  Hopefully pictures will come later.

Then we went and visited my sister and brother in Utah.  That was a lot of fun also because we went to Park City and went on the zip line, alpine coaster, and alpine slide.  That was amazing and so much fun.  It is something that we will be doing again.  We had fun just visiting with everyone.  The last time we saw everyone was at my mom's funeral, so this was much better circumstances. We weren't very good at picture taking for this trip, sorry. But Ben did videotape me coming down the zip line which I will post later when I figure out how to post it.

Then I was fortunate enough to tag along with my best friend Linda Coleman and her daughter Kaylene Skaggs to New York City.  Kaylene was there to learn from Bumble and Bumble haircutting techniques and her company paid for her hotel, so we stayed with her. It was amazing and the first time I had been there. So this was our itenary while we were there.

Friday - flew into JFK and stayed in Yonkers because Kaylene's hotel wasn't until Sunday, so we stayed in a Marriott I got with points.

Saturday - We went to Times Square, saw a Broadway play "Spiderman". Went to China town and shopped and ate at Little Italy.  To get back and forth we took the train to Grand Central Station and then took the Subways.

Sunday - Went to our new hotel in Manhattan the "Affinia" across from Madison Square Gardens. Then we went to the Empire State Bldg, which was amazing at the top.  We ate at the famous Shake Shack.  Great shakes, burgers and fries.  We then rented bikes and rode completely around Central Park which is 6.5 miles.  I just about died.  Then later we ate at Cafe Habana in Nolita which is famous for their Cuban corn on the cob, very spicey.

Monday - Kaylene had her class, so Linda and I ventured out ourselves on the subways to the Statue of Liberty, and Wall Street.  We then met Kaylene later in East Village (scary part of town) for dinner and ate at Caracus which is a Venezuela restaurant.  We ate arepa's which were yummy.

Tuesday - We got up early and went to the Today show.  We got their early enough that we got right in front.  I was on T.V. standing next to the weatherman Al during a segment.(you can see the video on my facebook)  It was a lot of fun.  We then ventured out to the World Trade Center which is still closed off but there was a museum right next to it that we visited. They are suppose to open up the special tributes of the World Trade Center on September 11, 2011 which will be 10 years from the crash.  We then met Kaylene at Skyline near the meat packing district.  It is a really cool walking park they made from where a railroad used to be.  We then walked around Chelsea Market and shopped.  Then we went all the way back to Park Avenue near Central Park and shopped at a 6 story Forever 21, and Lindt's Chocolate store.  We tried to eat at Eataly a famous Italian market and restaurant.  It was so crowded the wait was an hour, so we ended up eating somewhere else.

Wednesday - Today we went to FAO Schwartz and then Linda and I ate at Serendipity for lunch.  We shared the famous frozen mint hot chocolate.  I had their french toast.  It was so good.  Then we shopped again at Park Place.  For dinner we met some of Linda's relatives and ate at Gramaldi's famous pizza place in Brooklyn.  After dinner we had ice cream at the creamery on the pier and then walked in the pouring rain across the Brooklyn bridge.  Everything was lit up and it was so beautiful. 

Thursday - We shopped one last time in China Town, tried to cram all our spoils from the trip in our suitcases and headed home. 

It was so much fun, exhausting, amazing and now that I have the lay of the land I would love to come back next year and bring my two older daughters.  We shall see.  The bummer part is I came home so tired and not feeling well.  Oh well too much fun!!!!  A trip of a lifetime.

Here are some of the pictures that I took and I am not very good at picture taking but Kayleen had her camera and hopefully I can download her pictures later:


Linda and I waiting for the train in Yonkers!



Times Square

Little Italy



View from Empire State Bldg.





View from Empire State Bldg.




Kaylene at Central Park

Central Park, Linda posing







Wall Street



This was a tree that was left after 911 and it was saved and preserved.




This was a flag with all the names of the people that died in 911 in the museum.




This was in the 911 museum of cards and gifts that were left after 911.




Today show, I think you know who these people are.




Kathy Lee Gifford doing Zumba with the founder of Zumba





This is all made out of jelly beans.



Linda dancing on the famous piano in FAO Scwartz.



Linda and I eating at Seredipity the famous frozen hot chocolate!!





Tender mercies!!

Today I have been feeling down.  I can't put my finger on it but I feel down about myself.  I won't share exactly why I feel this way, because there are several reasons.  I will share however, that I have to go back to work on Wednesday and I am anxious about it.  I haven't worked since December.  They said I had to come back full time or quit.  So I guess I am going back.  Also today it hit me I can't pick up the phone and call my mom to talk about things.  That was a sad realization for me.  I am still trying to get her house cleaned and fixed and ready to sell.  Things that aren't easy. 

Anyways, God is always there for you.  I received a phone call later in the day from a lady from my church inviting me to go to the temple with her tomorrow.  She is an older lady and I love her to pieces.  She has 9 grown children that are married with kids.  So I am always asking her for advice.  Unfortunately I can't go to the Temple with her because I get to go sit at my mom's house for 3 hours and wait for a Salvation Army truck to pick up all the junk that didn't sale.  But I just have to say her conversation lifted me up.  Out of the blue she told me that I am a good person and a good example.  She said many positive things about my family and my husband.  It was just what I needed to hear right then. Sometimes we need a little pick me up.  Thank you Heavenly Father for surrounding me with angels and giving me tender mercies when I need them!!!  

Happy Birthday to Me!/Thankful Thursday

Well today is my 45th birthday.  Yeah I will admit it.  I am not thrilled about getting old but trying to do the best I can to stay young physically and emotionally. Since today is Thursday I thought I would combine my birthday with Thankful Thursday, so here it is:

1) Thankful I got new carpet!! (Love it and love that it doesn't smell like dog pee upstairs!!!!)
2) Thankful for my children and how thoughtful they were in their gifts to me this year.
3) Thankful that I live near the beach and that Chelsea and I took a drive along PCH just to see the beautiful ocean.
4) Thankful for getting organized.  (Had to move everything downstairs to get new carpet, so cleaned, threw out and just plain got organized upstairs!)
5) Thankful I can read and love reading books. (Got a new book for my birthday that I requested, "Look 20 years younger"! HaHa)
6) Thankful for my husband who is always thoughtful, helpful, loving and I could go on and on. Thankful that we could spend time together just the two of us in Palm Springs this last weekend!!!!
7) Thankful that Nicole is fixing dinner tonight for my birthday.
8) Thankful for friends who remembered my birthday and are so thoughtful.
9) Thankful for California weather!!!
10) Last, but most important, thankful for the Savior that he atoned for our sins and was resurrected and that someday I will see my mom again!!!

BitterSweet Moment in Life!!

It is with great sadness that I announce that my mom passed away.  She passed away on April 6, 2011.  We are sad to see her go and will miss her greatly however, we know she is in a much better place with my dad and no longer suffering.  It was hard to see her clinging to life her last 7days.  Everyday Hospice would come and say she is most likely going today and everyday she would cling to life.  Finally on April 6, 2011 the Hospice nurse said, "there must be a reason she is hanging on.  Call your siblings and put them on speakerphone and have them say their goodbyes and tell her they will be ok". So I did with much sadness.  She passed away later that day around 9:30pm.  We also found out later after reading her journals that April 6th was a very special day to my mom.  That day is when she got her first Temple Recommend.  I am so grateful I was able to take care of her in her last days and to be there in her room when she took her last breath, no matter how hard it was.  I owe my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ to my mother and am grateful for example of service she has been to me her whole life.  Thank you mom, I love you!!!!!

Thankful Thursday a day late!!

Once again it is Thankful Thursday, I am just a day late due to Hospice being in and out of my house yesterday.  My poor mom is going downhill fast, so we had the doctor, nurse, nursing assistant all come yesterday.  Well here is my list of what I am thankful for:



1) Thankful that Hospice is so wonderful and helpful.
2) Thankful I know my mom will be in a better place when she goes and that I will get to see her again someday.
3) Thankful for my husband whom I love love love so much and that he adores me also.
4) Thankful I got to get out and eat breakfast with some good friends.  (Thanks Lauren and Nicole)
5) Thankful for the beautiful weather we are having in CA, just wish I could be at the beach enjoying it.

Well thats it for today.  I have a lot on my mind and it is very hard to watch your mother die.  So been a little emotional and teary eyed lately.

Tyler is driving!!!

Tyler got his license today!!! Yeah! He is a little spoiled in that he will get to drive the Toyota 4 Runner Ben just got for a smokin deal. He is driving this car since it seems to be our gas guzzler, (Since gas at its cheapest is $3.89/gallon) and Tyler has the shortest distance to go to school.  Of course the girls don't think its fair that he didn't have to drive an embarrasing cheap car. But we always like to say to our kids, "Well life isn't fair, get use to it!"  He is our only boy!! He just better have the same driving record as the girls with no tickets and no accidents thus far or his driving days will be over. 

Mission Call!!

Nicole has been dating Chris now for almost a year.  He just got his mission call to Colorado Denver South Mission to serve for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  He reports May 25, 2011.  He is real excited and so are we.  Chris joined the church 2 years ago and is the only member in his family.  He has a strong testimony and we know he will be a great missionary.  He is reporting sooner than he thought, so I am guessing there will be some tears shed when he leaves.  The Colorado people will be lucky to get him!!!

Thankful Thursday!!

So I decided I would write what I am thankful for every Thursday, hence the "Thankful Thursday" So here it goes:

1) I am thankful it hasn't been to bad taking care of my mom thus far.
2) I am thankful I am a nurse so I can take care of my mom.
3) I am thankful  while staying home I can see how good Lauren and Nicole are at reading their scriptures daily. (They never miss a day, they didn't get that from me. Thank you seminary teachers!!!)
4) I am grateful to my girls who help watch my mom so I could go to RS presidency meeting today.
5) I am thankful Ben has a good job so I can stay home to take care of my mom.
6) I am grateful for the rain.
7) I am grateful to be able to walk in the morning with Carolee who is also taking care of a parent, so we can commiserate together.
8) I am grateful I finished one of my goals of not shopping for me for 3 months.

Well that is enough for today.  I have many things to be grateful for!!!!

HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY!!

HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY!!!

Yes I am part Irish, my Brimberry side. Since I have started taking care of my mom I have put on weight.  I am home all the time and all you want to do is eat.  It is really hard to fit in exercising.  I got on my friends scale and realized I have gained 10lbs.  Well that just won't do. So starting Saturday I went off processed sugar, breads, and pastas. Thanks to my two older daughters watching my mom, I have started walking every weekday with my friend Carolee, who is also caregiving for her father-in-law.  Between our two schedules we are trying really hard to fit it in.  Well one of my favorite things is a Shamrock Shake from Mcdonalds.  I have been reallly good for the last 6 days and decided I would treat myself.  I think I deserve it.  Let's hope I haven't sabotaged myself.  I figured it was ok since I walked 4 miles today and helped Lauren weed the flower beds today to plant the rest of our garden.  Also I gave a small sip to my mom to put on her tongue to taste.  She was happy!!!  I think it was worth it and I will be back on track tomorrow!! 

Conversations you never want to have!!!!

Today when my mom was getting up she noticed her tumor was bigger on the left side.  It has only been growing big on the right side up until now.  She asked me if I thought it was now growing on the left side and I said yes.  Then she pointed to her right side where the tumor is bulging out of her neck and said, "Isn't this going to go away?"  I had to say, "No mom, your tumor will continue to grow until you pass away.  The steroid we put you on was only to help relieve your symptoms and give you more energy, not cure you.  Here in lies the very hard part of caregiving, being loving and honest at the same time even though some confusion has set in.  Pray for me!!

New Year's Goal!!

So one of my goals I made at the beginning of the year was not to shop for myself for 3 months from December 23, 2010, which would be March 23, 2011. Now mind you I am the most frugual shopper and don't spend a lot of money but let's face it, just because it is on sale doesn't mean you need it.  My closet is full and I really don't need anything.  (Of course my brother had to one up me and said he is not shopping for himself for a year, and he is a shopaholic!!!) So with taking care of my mom it has been pretty easy.   I don't go anywhere because I am home taking care of her.  But recently there has been this cute dress on the JCPenny commercial.  So I got weak and broke down and went online to see if that particular dress was available.(Go here to see the Dress ) Yes it was on the site and so I tried to order it being weak.  Well I guess, call it what you will, Heavenly Father helping me, fate, I call it Heavenly Father trying to help me with my goal, it wasn't available in my size.  HaHa.  So with only one more week to go for my goal I hope I make it.  It has been an eye opener to learn you really don't need stuff!!! I knew this but sometimes you need to relearn things.  Taking care of my mom has made me realize what is important.  It's not about what you buy, or keeping up with the Jone's but the relationships in your life and how you treat people.  I also have started to say, "What do I really need instead of that is cute I think I will buy it".  Hopefully I can pass that onto my kids!!!  Wish me luck with my goal!!!

OK So I will Brag a little!!

Ok maybe I will brag a little on this post.  This is my oldest Lauren and she has been dating Dean now for almost 3 years.  Yes we are waiting for a proposal.  However, they took some beautiful photos with a friend of Lauren's who wanted to broaden her portfolio.  They turned out amazing and I wish they were her engagement pictures.  I can't download them here, so to see them go here:http://tegynfriedmanphotography.com/blog and scroll down to the bottom and look under love and engagements (Lauren + Dean)

She is a beautiful lamb, I like to call her.  She has been amazing helping me with my mom.  She has also applied to many nursing schools and we are just waiting to hear.  So helping with my mom is good practice for her.

Venting and a Real Reality Blog!

So as you know I have been taking care of my mom now for 4 weeks.  She is on Hospice and has terminal cancer.  I am happy to do this and am grateful I am a nurse to be able to give her the 24 hr care she needs.  However, I have frustrations too!!!  I always read blogs and they are full of beautiful people posing with outfits, putting their best picutres of vacations and their kids on.  Well I decided to make this a real reality blog, so I can keep this like a journal of this adventure we are going through. So here are my frustrations:

1) I know you mean well when you say if I need you to watch my mom so I can get a break.  However, can you suction her trach, do you want to change her diaper or put pain meds down her feeding tube?  So when I smile and say thank you that is really sweet, I apprecaite it but that won't be happening.

2) Why does it seem when I just want to get a break and run to target that right when I get there I am getting a phone call from my husband or kids to ask, "Where is this or that, your mom just had an accident? or Your mom is asking where are you and when will you be back?"  Really, deal with it and let me have a break!!!!!

3) I love my extended family, but if I hear you say, yeah we are stuck in the house too with no money and nothing to do.  I don't feel sorry for you.  Your choice and your choices!!!!  You staying in the house is not the same as why I have to stay in the house.

4)  See this beautiful girl and this adorable puppy? Well Nicole asked if she could have this puppy a week before my mom was coming home.  Both her dad and I said NO!!!!!!!  Well typical 18 year old brought it home anyways.  I will admit it is adorable and hard to be mad at, but if it pees or poops on my new rugs one more time I will scream.  I feel like when people visit me my house it now smells like dog pee.  Sorry!!!  Not my fault!!!

5) It's one thing to deal with confused people at the hospital.  I can take it for 12 hours, however when it is your mom it is a compeletely different thing.  Repeating things and her not remembering her limitations can be real trying on the patience levels!!!

6) I know you want to visit my mom, and you say you will only stay for a few minutes, but what you don't realize is I feel I have to always have the house cleaned, her cleaned and I am her mouthpiece.  She can't talk and she can barely write now.  So that means time out of my day!  Somedays that is exhausting when I have 6 people wanting to come over.  It is also emotionally exhausting when I see my mom cry when you leave. So if I say no, please don't be offended, it is not about you!!!!!!

Well enough of my vent today!!!! Thank goodness for Hospice which is wonderful.  Thank goodness for the gospel and the plan of happiness so I can know the true purpose of this life and that my mom will be in a much happier place when she goes.  Please don't get me wrong, I love being able to do this for my mom, but lets be real, this is not easy!!!  God grant me the strength I need to get through this!!!!  I am grateful for my Savior and all that he did for me and I know I receive blessings daily.  I do have angels all around me attending to my needs daily.  They are friends who call to see how I am.  They are friends who bring in meals, even if my girls could have cooked it.  They are friends who pick up my younger two from school in the afternoon.  They are those who have prayed for us.  Thank you so much and we love you all.

Hawaii 2010

Our family got to finally take a vacation in May 2010, since Rosemary finally graduated from nursing school.  We went to Ko-Olina on Oahu and stayed at the Marriott Resort Beach Club.  We had lots of fun snorkeling, jet skiing, seeing the sights, and just lounging by the beach.  It was a truly deserved vacation!!!

Long Time No Post

Well it has been a long time since I last posted. Since I last posted I have graduated from nursing school as an RN in December 2009 and started working at Los Alamitos Hospital in Telemetry. This is the cardiac floor. I started there in January full time. It was really hard at first and many people told me the first year is really hard because you are learning everything and also I work nights which was an adjustment. Then in December 2010 my mom was diagnosed with Thyroid cancer and underwent surgery on January 5Th of this year. She has a very rare aggressive form of thyroid cancer called anaplastic carcinoma. Basically it invades your trachea, esophagus and then moves to your brain, and lungs. There is no cure and people go quickly within 6 months. My mom was put on Hospice with a trach and feeding tube. So she need 24hr care, which means me. So I am on Family Medical Leave from my job and with some adjustments by the kids we moved my mom into our home to live out her last days. It has been rewarding at times to be able to serve her in this way but it has also been hard to watch her decline. I don't think it was coincidence that I graduated nursing school, worked for a year to get experience and then have my mom get cancer and need 24 hr nursing care. Obviously God had a plan for me to help my mom. How grateful I am for this experience and that I can do this for her. I am grateful for all the prayers that have been said on our behalf.